Chiklita

So I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.

And the #1 Halloween threat: Sexy Costumes. I have no problem with women wearing sexy costumes on Halloween, but SpoiledRottenDoggys.com has debuted a new line of matching sexy costumes for dogs. Folks, this is terrible, because after a few drinks who knows which of these two you’re going to take home? I mean it starts out like any other hook up: a little heavy petting, plenty of panting, the next morning you roll over and realize you just had a one night stand with a real bitch. And folks you do not know the meaning of walk of shame until you’ve picked up your date’s poop with a plastic bag.

Today, while eating lunch at Chipotle, I saw a woman walk out eating a burrito with both hands. She suddenly stopped and had a look of terror on her face and ran back inside. She walked outside again a minute later, but this time she had a baby stroller with her. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who loves Chipotle that much. MLIA.

I don’t know. It’s like, when I’m with you, I just, I never know what’s going to happen next. It’s weird, because my life is so planned out. It’s like, you don’t care what people think. And when I’m with you, I don’t care what people think.